Wednesday 28 December 2016

4 Steps For Healing Childhood Emotional Trauma And Regain Control Of Your Life

The article 4 Steps For Healing Childhood Emotional Trauma And Regain Control Of Your Life is republished from Personal Life Coach Fabrizio Fusco

When we become adults, we think that our childhood has ended, but that’s not the way it is.

Our child self remains alive within us. Perceptions and beliefs remain stored in the unconscious mind. And this affects the way we think, feel, and act as adult beings.

Behavioural programming during childhood

The unconscious mind works like a computer that stores information about every experience and our reaction to them since birthday. In other words, it merely reflects what we have stored inside.

From these references we guide our existence. So, the unconscious mind drives on our behalf according to how we perceive our past experiences.

It’s widely known that most information is stored inside the unconscious mind between gestation and eight years of age.

These life-shaping subconscious programs are the result of observing and interacting with people around us: parents, siblings, teachers, community, and culture.

In other word, we spend the first 8 years of life, “downloading” beliefs and experiences from our family and culture.

During the first 8 years of life, the way we feel is primarily reactive. This means that when we feel painful emotions and our parents don’t validate us, we are stuck in that pain with no knowledge of how to assimilate or heal it.

Only after 8 years, when our cognitive mind is developed, we can rationalize our way into thinking whatever makes sense to us, give a meaning to painful emotions and move forward.

This means that actually we don’t experience any new trauma after the age of eight.

“The cost of shaping ourselves to fit the desires, preferences, and expectations of others, is losing ourselves; and when we lose ourselves we become frozen without direction, unable to make our own choices.” – Teal Swan, (Spiritual teacher)

“Every negative or traumatic event in your life can become either an opportunity to grow or a prison in which you feel trapped.” – Ann Boroch, ND

“Anytime you experience something as upsetting or uncomfortable, it is a triggered memory. You are not, in fact, living anything new in your life. You are experiencing nothing but reflections from your childhood. There are no exceptions to this rule.” – Teal Swan (Spiritual teacher)

Emotional experiences are a reflection of childhood

What does really mean that we don’t experience any new trauma after the age of 8?

You may say, for example, that your heartache from breaking up the first love was very real.

And it sure is.

But the new trauma is, in fact, just a reflection of a prior wound.

In other words, you aren’t living a new trauma; you are experiencing nothing but reflections from your childhood.

You live and re-live the trauma. You are not able to live in the present moment because the past trauma continues to come up again and again in order to reintegrate itself.

This situation leads to an unhappy life, addiction, failed relationships.

But you can stop the cycle and live a whole different life.

coping early childhood emotional trauma | Fabrizio Fusco | healing the child within

Here are 4 steps for healing childhood emotional trauma and break free of negative emotions...

1. Embrace negative emotions

Any emotional upset you experience in the present is, in fact, just the echo of a traumatic memory. It’s a trigger from a prior wound that needs your attention.

This emotional upset (trigger) helps you see the wounds that you have tried to suppress. It’s like a messenger carrying the echo of something important.

Since triggers hurt so badly you may find it difficult to accept them as beneficial instead of detrimental.

Using a metaphor, you’re living your life escaping from a tornado. Don’t escape it anymore. Run into it, embrace your negative emotions. They are just a messenger.

2. Be fully present with your emotions

Be with your emotions regardless if they feel bad or good. Don’t escape from them.

Allow them to fully express. Understand that there’s nothing wrong with negative emotions.

Validate your emotions, learn from them, hear what they want you to hear, see what they want you to see. Completely be with how you feel.

3. Invite memories to surface

Now is the moment to go back in time.

While you fully experience your feelings ask yourself: “When was the last time I felt this sensation?” and then “when was the time before?”. 

Continue the process and try to go back to the first time you experienced those feelings.

See and experience memories that come up from your unconscious.

Experience what your feelings want you to see, hear, feel. 

4. Inner child work

Once you are in your unconscious memories, mentally alter the memory in a way that feels emotionally positive. This procedure is called inner child work.

For example, in your memory you were a child, you did something on your own and you felt a sense of accomplishment.

Your father discarded it and made it again because he could do it better than you. You felt worthless.

Now reframe the experience in a way that you’d like it to happen today. Send all the good feelings inside of you to everyone in that memory.

Imagine your adult self approaching the child and enable the child to feel better. You may imagine a person explain the entire situation objectively to the child and help him not take the experience personally.

Experience a new life

Altering a memory from childhood changes your current echoes (emotional upsets) as a result of it.

It means that you can really change the way you experience your life. You can break free of the past and take back control of your life.

Make today count. Make every day count. Make your life count. Make the rest of your life the best of your life.

In my FREE e-book “Love your life” I explain just that: how to love yourself once again. So that you can spread the love to the entire world.

Read additional info on: The health and life coach Fabrizio Fusco


Wednesday 21 December 2016

What Is Chronic Disease And How To Heal The Body Of Illness In 4 Steps

What Is Chronic Disease And How To Heal The Body Of Illness In 4 Steps was originally published to http://www.fabriziofusco.com

We are losing our battle against chronic diseases.

It’s becoming evident that western traditional medicine is not the solution to our problems.

Yet we still believe that Medical Doctors know what’s best for us.

What is the real truth about health and chronic diseases?

The business of traditional medicine

Medical Doctors have been trained only in one small piece of medical science known as allopathic reductionism.

The fact is that medical science includes other kinds of medicine too: naturopathic, chiropractic, homeopathic, osteopathic, acupuncture, traditional Chinese medicine and so on.

The reason why we only hear about allopathic reductionism is an economic reason.

Medicine is a business like everything else. Pharmaceuticals companies and some medical doctors are in control, they managed to create a monopoly since the 1920s.

Their intent is to keep the disease process under control with

prescription drugs: they manage the disease, they don’t cure.

The whole system that has been created is focused on selling the cure.

The symptoms we experience are the result of bad lifestyle, junk food, stress and toxicity.

Prescription drugs suppress the symptoms. But they don’t address the root cause.

For example, consider that our house is full of garbage on the floor. We put a blanket on it and we don’t see it anymore. But it’s still there.

That’s exactly what happens when we cover the symptoms. The problem it’s still there.

Not only that, artificially modifying the chemistry with a prescription drug will disrupt the biochemistry even more feeding the disease.

We are not deficient in a prescription drug, we are deficient in vitamins and minerals.

I once worked as a writer for a big New York ad agency. Our boss used to tell us: Invent a disease. Come up with the disease, he said, and we can sell the cure. Attention Deficit Disorder, Seasonal Affect Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder. These aren't diseases, they're marketing ploys. Doctors didn't discover them, copywriters did. Marketing departments did. Drug companies did.” – Steven Pressfield

“You need to talk to people that are producing results on a consistent basis. A doctor has statistically an average life of 56 years, the highest abuse of alcohol, the highest abuse of drugs and the highest rate of suicide. Is that the kind of person you want to ask how to be fit, healthy and strong?” – Leonard Coldwell, ND

"Your body has not forgotten how to heal—you just need to create the right environment for a long enough period of time to remove inflammation and infection.” –  Ann Boroch, ND

How the bias is built into the system

The health industry is run by pharmaceutical companies (Big Pharma).

Medical studies are biased because are funded by the very same companies that profit from the success of their prescription drugs.

Those companies also lobby politicians to pass legislation that is not in the best interest of human life.

Finally, those companies own the media. To say the truth to the general public would hurt the sales. So the information that people receive is biased, it’s dishonest.

If you are exposed to some information enough times pretty soon you believe it’s the truth.

However, if you really want to break free of the system and really improve your health.

what is chronic disease | Fabrizio Fusco | you can heal your body

Here are a few step on how to heal the body of illness and break free from chronic diseases.

1. Follow someone who already did it

If you want to achieve something in life don’t trust someone for the only reason they have a title.

You need something more than just a title.

You need someone who already did what you’re looking for.

If you want to lose weight talk to someone that was obese and now is slim, healthy and strong.

If you want to be a marathon runner talk to someone who completed at least one marathon.

If you want to heal your emotional wounds talk to someone who defeated depression in his life.

These are the kind of people you want to talk to. They have done it before and are producing results. And that makes a difference.

2. Question everything

Educate yourself. Question everything you have been said.

Don’t be influenced by other people. Have the courage to follow your path.

A study conducted at the university of Leeds show that if we have a large enough flock of sheep and 5% of them go in a particular direction, then all the flock follows the same direction, without knowing why.

The study also shows that the same is true for human beings. For any large group of people, it only takes 5% to take a certain decision and everyone follows them, without knowing why.

I’m sure you’re better than that. Find your own truth. 

3. Eat healthy food and take natural supplements

Most of the stuff available on grocery store shelves or restaurant menus can hardly be
 called food.

Everything is processed and industrialized; they give us the calories we need to barely survive, but not the nutrients we need to be healthy.

Health begins with what we eliminate from our diet, not with what we add.

Also, each vitamin and mineral has a specific role in maintaining healthy cells.

Because of depleted and toxic soils and environmental toxins the amount of vitamins and minerals in the food we eat is declining. 

That’s the reason why we need vitamin and mineral supplements more than ever.

Check out my online healthy food & supplements store to find out a list of healthy foods and supplements that I recommend. 

4. Establish a healthy lifestyle

Physical exercise is a great way to be fit: it lowers the weight, improves the shape and fitness by strengthening muscles and bones, it regulates the glucose metabolism, releases endorphin that make you feel happy and helps regulate sleep.

You can run, cycle, swim, go to gym, whatever you want. Actually there is no need to be a marathon runner, it can be sufficient to walk or simply to stay in movement conducting an active lifestyle.

Another element to consider is toxicity: avoid or cut back toxic products.

Let go of what you can’t control. For instance, of course we have to breathe even if the air is polluted.

However, avoiding smoking cigarettes or recreational drugs is something that it’s under your control.

Health is a choice

The power to break free of chronic diseases lies within you.

It’s a choice... The choice to focus on the solution and commit to it.

It’s a choice that requires tenacity and determination.

It’s a choice that sets you free. If you are determined enough.

“Health is a choice” means to give back hope to people that risked to lose it.

In my FREE e-book “DNA Is Not Your Destiny” I explain just that: I want you to know that you are not victim of your genes. You are the master of your destiny.

So now, it’s your choice. Make a decision. Take the challenge. It’s all on you.

 

Read additional info on: UK Life and Health Coach Fabrizio Fusco


Wednesday 14 December 2016

How To Improve Your Resilience And Take Back Control Of Your Life After Failure

How To Improve Your Resilience And Take Back Control Of Your Life After Failure is republished from Personal Life Coach Fabrizio Fusco

We should think of our life as an infinite journey without destination.

You take steps in one direction. Or another. Or another.

Sometimes you get lost along the way and fall down. Then you start again.

However, it may also happen that you fall down and you feel like you don’t have the strength to get back up.

The reason why you’re not doing well in life

If I told you to create a list of reasons why you’re not doing good, how would this list look like?

Probably you would mention, the economic crisis, the taxes, the government, a corrupted society, your parents or friends that don’t support your vision, the weather, and so on.

They are all good reasons, are they?

But, what if I told you, you got it all wrong?

Let me tell this: society steals our dreams because we allow it, because we face the world as victims, not as warriors.

Now, change the rules. Don’t focus on others, focus on yourself.

Don’t focus on the problem, focus on the solution. It’s not what happens; it's how you react to what happens that changes everything.

So, now, consider this shift: remove everything from your list and put on it only one thing: Yourself. That’s right it’s all on you.

“Some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all—in which case, you fail by default.” – J. K. Rowling

“If you want something you've never had you must be willing to do something you've never done.” – Thomas Jefferson

“You can choose courage or you can choose comfort. You cannot have both. You get from this life what you have the courage to ask for.” -- Brenè Brown

Awake to the truth that reality is an illusion

As we know, our brain has the ability to represent what happens in the world. However, this internal representation isn’t precisely what happens because of the filtering and personalization of the brain.

We develop beliefs; in other words, something we accept as true.

Everyone creates its own reality.

What is reality then? What is the truth?

The Toltec civilization used to say that everything is an illusion. Everyone creates their own mental version of the world as if everyone was dreaming a different dream.

Nothing is true, only love is true. The rest is a creation of the mind and the ego.

Now, imagine you could awake and find out that everything you believed to be true about life and the world is actually only a creation of the human mind (a dream as the Toltec affirmed).

You discover that you were “domesticated”, you were taught the dream of your life by the people that were there ahead of you.

So, now that you’re aware of this process you can break free of the domestication. You can begin to dream your own dream, focusing your attention on discovering what YOU believe to be true.

how to improve resilience in live | Fabrizio Fusco | take your life back

How to improve your resilience and take back control of your life

1. Look inside of you

Think of an orange. When you squeeze it orange juice comes out. Why? Because that’s what is inside the orange.

Now take a look at yourself. When life squeezes you what comes out? Anger, hatred, depression… Why?

We say people or situations made us feel that way, it’s all because of them.

But actually, just like the orange, those feelings came out because they were already inside of you.

If you want to stop suffering because of negative feelings, you have to look inside of you and change your perspective.

Now, when life squeezes you, the only things that come out are understanding and love.

2. Focus on what you can control

There are a lot of things in life that you can’t control. So, just let them go. You are not going to change them.

One thing you can certainly control: yourself.

What do you think it’s easier? Changing 1000 things in the external world or changing just yourself?

Consider this example from Jim Rohn:

There are two salesmen and a storm outside.

The 1st salesman says:
Wow what a storm. With weather like this they can’t expect us to go out and make sales. He stays home.

The 2nd salesman says:
WOW. What a storm. With weather like this what a great day to go out and make sales! Everyone will be home... Including the other salesmen.

3. Understand your “Why”

Every single person on the planet knows what they do. Some know how they do it. But very few people know why they do it.

And by why I don’t mean making money. That’s a result.

By why I mean what’s their purpose, their cause.

Life will knock you down many times. That’s when people give up.

But you have to let reason get you back up. If you have clarity of values, you still understand why you are there.

If you know your purpose, if you know why you’re doing it then you’ll be able to pick yourself up every single day.

4. Improve your resilience

If you want to improve and get better in life, then failure is inevitable.

When you fail try again and again and again.

Work on improving your resilience.

Resilience is that ineffable quality that allows you to come back stronger than ever after a failure.

All that matters is that you are going to get up. It matters how you’re going to finish. Are you going to finish strong?

Take back control of your life

It’s not what happens that determines the quality of your life. And that’s because what happens, happens to about everybody. It’s no different. Rather it’s how you react that changes everything.

In my FREE e-book "Love your life" I explain just that: how to get out of a negative spiral and start living a life that honors who you are.

So, now it’s your choice. It’s all on you. What are you gonna do?

Read more info on: http://fabriziofusco.com


Wednesday 7 December 2016

Why You’re Feeling Trapped And How To Live An Authentic Life To Personal Freedom

Find more on: UK Life and Health Coach Fabrizio Fusco

What really is freedom?

No matter in what country you live in, most people feel trapped in a prison that they build with their own hands.

But why is that the case?

It all starts from childhood

The history of parenting

Over the centuries our idea of how to raise children has changed drastically.

In medieval times corporal punishment was considered normal and commonplace. Children weren’t seen as pure; they were considered evil. Parents used to physically abuse of their children to grant them salvation and goodness.

It took until the late 1600s to introduce a new style of parenting: the punish and reward style. Instead of continued corporal punishment, children were punished only when they behaved badly and rewarded with approval and affection when they were good.

Today, in the early 2000s not much has changed even though corporal punishment began to come out of favor in the western world in the late 1900s.

It’s easy to look at medieval ages and say that back then we were in the

dark age of parenting.

The problem is, we still are.

Today we’re doing the same kind of damage on an emotional level as we did on a physical level.

Why we lost our freedom and authenticity

Often parents put children in a track already tracked. Because they love them and they want them to be safe.

Children never have the opportunity to make mistakes and learn from them.

If their emotions are not validated they learn that their feelings are wrong and to suppress them.

They start to choose what they are supposed to choose, what their parents say is “right”.

In order to adapt to the choices of their parents they created a false self… A mask.

That’s why we lose our authenticity and with it our freedom.

We become insecure, isolated, intimidated, powerless, afraid to decide for ourselves, trapped in a prison that we build with our own hands.

In a single word: Frozen. Without even knowing what we want from our life, from ourselves.

The pain becomes so big that we start covering it by eating junk food, drinking alcohol or developing other addictions.

Until we hit rock bottom.

And finally decide to change.

This is the story of many people. And yes, it is my story as well.

But how do we escape our own prison?

“The cost of shaping ourselves to the desires, preferences, and expectations of others, is losing ourselves; and when we lose ourselves we become frozen without direction, unable to make our own choices.”-- Teal Swan

“Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally… Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves.” -- Don Miguel Ruiz

“To be free is not merely to cast off one's chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.”-- Nelson Mandela

get personal freedom | Fabrizio Fusco | living authentically

The Path Towards Personal Freedom

The first step toward personal freedom is being aware of where you are now.

It also takes patience because, how we have seen, it’s the result of many years of “domestication”.

As Don Miguel Ruiz explains, the following are the four pillars of personal freedom.

1.Use your words wisely

Words are not just a sound or a written symbol. They are a force. They have power.

With words you express yourself, communicate, think and, as a consequence, create the events of your life.

Depending how you use your words, they can set you free or enslave you.

Words are not only said out loud but also kept inside. Be honest with yourself. Don’t use them against yourself or against others.

Since we are one, when we attack someone else we are deepening our own wounds.

Always use the power of your words in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don’t take things personally

Imagine you speak with the same person in two different situations.

In the first scenario the person had an awesome day, plenty of sleep, a fulfilling job, nothing to worry about.

How do you think that person will treat us? Pretty well, eh?

Now, same person but different scenario. This time, she didn’t sleep well, lost her job, got in car accident and every annoying situation happened.

How do you think she is going to treat us this time? Probably very differently from first scenario.

Nothing about us changed in both scenarios but we have been treated in different ways. That’s why if we take things personally we’re in trouble.

We should never base our opinion of ourselves on how other people treat us. It’s not about us, it’s about them.

3. Don’t make assumptions

We always tend to make assumptions about what others do or think.

Then we blame others based on our assumptions.

But actually we misunderstand, take it personally and create a big drama for nothing.

The way to stop making assumptions is to start asking questions.

We have to make sure that the communication is clear.

We have to have the courage to ask questions until we are as clear as you can be. 

4. Always do your best

There is one last pillar and it’s the one that keeps the other three habits alive when times are tough.

Always do your best with the 3 points before.

Circumstances will change so your best will sometimes be extraordinary and other times not so good.Don’t beat yourself up but be honest with yourself.

Always make sure that what you are doing is not less than what you’re capable of doing. 

The path to freedom starts within you

Freedom is the result of following the four pillars again and again. It’s a practice.

Excellence, is not an act, it’s a practice.

And a new beginning starts within us, if we truly want it.

We have to learn to love ourselves first. Because if we are incapable of finding love in ourselves, it is pointless to search elsewhere.

In my FREE e-book "Love your life" I explain just that: how to love yourself once again. Because everything starts within and self-love is the root from which everything grows.

See additional information on: Health and Life Coaching Tips by Fabrizio Fusco