Hi, I'm Fabrizio Fusco, a healer, a spiritual guide, a life and wellness coach. If you're feeling stuck, trapped, or unfulfilled in your life, I can help. Follow along as I share content from around the web to keep you informed about mental and physical health and wellness.
There's only one key to achieve your goals. It may be losing weight or becoming rich or whatever.
Strangely enough, these seemingly unrelated goals have one element in common: delayed gratification.
What Is Delayed Gratification?
Do you want to eat that sweet meal now or are you willing to abstain so that you can be healthy in a few years?
Do you want to buy a new car now even if you can't afford it and you need a loan or are you willing to drive your junker car another 10 years so that you can save money to start your dream business?
Delayed gratification is the willingness to admit that shortcuts don't work. Don't expect immediate results. You have got to fight your way back into the light.
What is delayed gratification? It is the willingness to put off gratification today for the promise of a much larger prize later on.
- Scooby
The Persistence Of The Bamboo Tree
Our life is like the growing process of the Chinese bamboo tree. You take a little seed and plant it. You need to water and fertilize it every single day. If you stop doing that it dies in the ground.
However, for five years nothing happens. How discouraging this becomes!
But here's the thing: when the bamboo tree breaks through the ground it starts sprouting and, in just six weeks, it grows ninety feet.
Life is often discouraging. You seemingly do things right and nothing happens.
But if you sow the seeds of what you desire someday you will achieve it. If you do things right and with persistence, things will happen. Finally, you begin to receive the rewards.
The roots have to grow underneath the ground. They need to be rooted in deeply to hold the plant when it grows. They represent a solid foundation and, of course, this is opposed to instant gratification.
The whole process may be a lot of effort but it's worth it because someday you will experience an explosive growth out of nowhere.
Effort And Success Are Like An Iceberg
We look at successful people and we assume that they have always been that way, that it comes easily without effort.
Success is like an iceberg that floats in the water. People only see a small fraction of an iceberg that is above the water line but the larger part of an iceberg is hidden beneath the water.
In other words, we tend to only see the great outcome that a successful person has achieved throughout their lives.
Often instead the efforts that were necessary to achieve such an outcome remain hidden and unnoticed. We are not aware of the huge efforts that were necessary to make these accomplishments possible.
It doesn't matter what do you want to achieve in your life, these 4 steps are the foundation to build a successful life:
1. Find clarity about what you want
Allow yourself to be curious. Go out, try new things and see how you feel. Repeat this step and, every time, notice how you feel.
Emotions are your compass; they tell you if the direction you are going is correct. Let your emotion guide you and find the way.
The more things you experience the more you get clear about what you want do in life. Once you get clarity you are now able to follow your dream by putting all your energy and vitality in it.
2. Be perseverant and consistent
If you want to achieve your goals consistency and perseverance are the only things that matter. You have to build good habits and you have to do it every day.
If you want something go out and get it. Today. Because if you give up today you will give up every day of your life.
Don't be afraid to fail. Be afraid not to try. Self-doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will. And remember: if children gave up when they fell for the first time, they would never learn to walk.
3. Accept disappointments and failures
When you set a big goal, life will knock you downmany times. That's when people give up.
But you've got to believe in your ideas. Because before anyone else in the world believes it, you have to believe it.
At any moment, even if nobody believes in you, it only takes yourself believing in you to accomplish your goals.
You will fail many times. Accept it. It's a step forward. It means you are learning;
4. Be resilient
Get yourself back up every time you fail. You have to have a massive action plan. You have to have enough plans or always invent new others.
Otherwise when you fail the first times you're going to make excuse why they didn't work and give up.
What Does The Definition Of Success Mean To You?
The power to live a successful life is within you. But what is the definition of success, after all?
You should look in the mirror and let yourself be the only judge. Not your reputation, not your wealth, not your standing in a community. Let yourself be the only judge: if you're living a happy, fulfilling life then you're successful.
In my FREE e-book “Love your life“I explain just that: how to look into yourself and start living a life that honors who you are.
So now, it's your choice. Make a decision. Take the challenge. It's all on you.
Orange (Citrus sinensis) belongs to the Rutaceae family. The fruit comes from a small grayish-brown bark tree, which is almost similar to a shrub. Its branches grow to a regular hemisphere shape with oval-shaped foliage that sprouts to at least 3 to 4 inches.
Its flowers are distinguished by its aromatic characteristic, and the circular fruit is rougher and darker in comparison to other varieties of citrus. It is said to be first obtained from a native tree in China, but has also been cultivated widely in the Mediterranean region, France, North and South America and Portugal.
Orange oil is extensively utilized in aromatherapy as it helps soothe tensed muscles and aids as a mood lifter. It can also be blended with a carrier oil and used as a fragrant lotion or cream or your skin.1
Uses of Orange Oil
Orange oil is commonly used as an added flavoring to beverages, sweet meats, chocolates, biscuits and confectionery and baked goods. Industrially, it is utilized as a concentrate for room fresheners, deodorants, soaps, body lotions and creams.
I believe that orange oil can provide a lot of benefits to your health. It has anti-inflammatory,2 antiseptic,3 antidepressant4 and antimicrobial and antioxidant properties.5
As a tonic, orange oil can help curb inflammation in the body by reducing pain and irritation. It also has a carminative property that helps expel intestinal gas, which induces chest pains and indigestion, by relaxing the stomach and anal muscles.6
Some organic nutritionists believe orange oil may help treat muscular and nervous spasms. In aromatherapy, it aids in relieving anxiety, anger and depression and is beneficial in promoting a healthy wellbeing as it detoxifies your body and boosts your immunity.7
Composition of Orange Oil
Orange oil is made of up various chemical properties such as alpha pinene, citronellal, geranial, sabinene, myrcene, limonene, linalool and neral.
The most significant property is the limonene, or D-limonene, which can play an important role in your home by repelling insects. Simply spray or wipe it in different places of your house.
D-limonene extracted from the rind of orange can be used as a cleaning agent both in household and industrial settings. This chemical may also be utilized as a replacement for acetone, toluene, glycol ethers, fluorinated and chlorinated organic agents when used as a straight solvent.8
Benefits of Orange Oil
Orange oil is beneficial in improving digestion and relieving constipation. It also was found to inhibit angiogenesis, metastasis and cell death in human colon cancer cells in a study, prompting the researches to say that the oil from blood oranges “may offer great potential for prevention of cancer.”9
This essential oil is also good for nourishing dry, irritated and acne-prone skin when mixed with a carrier oil and used as a cream or ointment. It also may be used effectively for a refreshing treatment of calluses on your feet.
The orange promotes a feeling of happiness and warmth when used in aromatherapy. It helps in the elimination of toxins in the body and deals well with digestive problems. It helps in stimulating lymphatic action to promote balance in water processes and results in detoxification of your body.10
How to Make Orange Oil
The traditional method of extracting essential oil from citrus is known as expression or cold pressing. It is done by soaking the rind of the orange in warm water then pressing against the rind to absorb the essential oil.
The sponge will be then filled with the fluids extracted from the fruit. After that, the sponge will be pressed over a container to collect all the extraction and allow the separation of oil from the juice.11
However, it must be noted that extracting oils through distillation is different from the cold pressing method. Though distillation is a common method of obtaining oils, it has a negative effect on citrus oils. The heat from the steam reduces the citral content of the fresh oil, causing the essential oil to lose its therapeutic quality.12
If you're not familiar with the cold compress method, there is a homemade technique to extract the essential oil from orange:13
What You'll Need
• Orange peels
• Glass jar or container with tight lid
• Vodka or undenatured ethyl alcohol
• Coffee filter or cheese cloth
• Paper towel or cheese cloth
Procedure:
1. Let the orange peels dry naturally in direct sunlight. It will take about two days, depending on the humidity.
2. Cut the orange peels into smaller pieces and place them inside the jar.
3. Pour the vodka or alcohol until the all the peels are covered.
4. Screw the lid of the container tightly and shake it for a couple of minutes.
5. The longer you shake and leave the peels to soak in the vodka, the more oil will be obtained from it.
6. Filter the orange peels by using the coffee filter or cheese cloth.
7. Cover the container with a paper towel or cheese cloth. Let the residue sit inside the container until the alcohol has evaporated and the essential oil has remained.
How Does Orange Oil Work?
Orange oil can be used in various ways. It can be used as massage oil on the different areas of the body.
A few drops of the oil can be added to a warm bath or body wash - but be careful to always use it with a carrier oil, as it can be irritating to the skin, as well as phototoxic, if you use it directly on your skin. If you do use it topically, be sure to stay out of the sun for at least 12 hours.14
It also works as a great room freshener - just mix it with water in a spray bottle and squirt it lightly into the air. The orange oil is effective when used in vapor therapy as it immensely helps in relieving tension and stress. The fragrant scent helps induce sleep in children, especially at night.
When added in creams or lotions, it stimulates the lymphatic system and helps detoxify your skin. It also serves well as a general skin tonic. The essential oil works great especially when blended with black pepper, cinnamon, cloves, ginger, frankincense, sandalwood and vetiver.
Is Orange Oil Safe?
The orange oil is normally safe when used. However, one should avoid sunlight after applying it as it may cause phototoxicity. When consumed in large amounts, orange oil may result in vomiting and nausea. If you are pregnant, epileptic or have other medical problems, I advise you to consult first with a professional aromatherapy practitioner before using it.
Side Effects of Orange Oil
When using the orange oil for therapeutic needs, please dilute it with a base oil or lotion. I don't recommend using the essential oil in high concentrations as it may cause dermatitis or skin inflammation. Albeit orange oil has many health benefits, I still advise you to consult first with a medical professional before applying it.
There’s only one key to achieve your goals. It may be losing weight or becoming rich or whatever.
Strangely enough, these seemingly unrelated goals have one element in common: delayed gratification.
What Is Delayed Gratification?
Do you want to eat that sweet meal now or are you willing to abstain so that you can be healthy in a few years?
Do you want to buy a new car now even if you can’t afford it and you need a loan or are you willing to drive your junker car another 10 years so that you can save money to start your dream business?
Delayed gratification is the willingness to admit that shortcuts don’t work. Don’t expect immediate results. You have got to fight your way back into the light.
The Persistence Of The Bamboo Tree
Our life is like the growing process of the Chinese bamboo tree. You take a little seed and plant it. You need to water and fertilize it every single day. If you stop doing that it dies in the ground.
However, for five years nothing happens. How discouraging this becomes!
But here’s the thing: when the bamboo tree breaks through the ground it starts sprouting and, in just six weeks, it grows ninety feet.
Life is often discouraging. You seemingly do things right and nothing happens.
But if you sow the seeds of what you desire someday you will achieve it. If you do things right and with persistence, things will happen. Finally, you begin to receive the rewards.
The roots have to grow underneath the ground. They need to be rooted in deeply to hold the plant when it grows. They represent a solid foundationand, of course, this is opposed to instant gratification.
The whole process may be a lot of effort but it’s worth it because someday you will experience an explosive growth out of nowhere.
Effort And Success Are Like An Iceberg
We look at successful people and we assume that they have always been that way, that it comes easily without effort.
Success is like an iceberg that floats in the water. People only see a small fraction of an iceberg that is above the water line but the larger part of an iceberg is hidden beneath the water.
In other words, we tend to only see the great outcome that a successful person has achieved throughout their lives.
Often instead the efforts that were necessary to achieve such an outcome remain hidden and unnoticed. We are not aware of the huge efforts that were necessary to make these accomplishments possible.
It doesn’t matter what do you want to achieve in your life, these 4 steps are thefoundation to build a successful life:
1. Find clarity about what you want
Allow yourself to be curious. Go out, try new things and see how you feel. Repeat this step and, every time, notice how you feel.
Emotions are your compass; they tell you if the direction you are going is correct. Let your emotion guide you and find the way.
The more things you experience the more you get clear about what you want do in life. Once you get clarity you are now able to follow your dream by putting all your energy and vitality in it.
2. Be perseverant and consistent
If you want to achieve your goals consistency and perseverance are the only things that matter. You have to build good habits and you have to do it every day.
If you want something go out and get it. Today. Because if you give up today you will give up every day of your life.
Don’t be afraid to fail. Be afraid not to try. Self-doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will. And remember: if children gave up when they fell for the first time, they would never learn to walk.
3. Accept disappointments and failures
When you set a big goal, life will knock you down many times. That’s when peoplegive up.
But you’ve got to believe in your ideas. Because before anyone else in the world believes it, you have to believe it.
At any moment, even if nobody believes in you, it only takes yourself believing in you to accomplish your goals.
You will fail many times. Accept it. It’s a step forward. It means you are learning;
4. Be resilient
Get yourself back up every time you fail. You have to have a massive action plan. You have to have enough plans or always invent new others.
Otherwise when you fail the first times you’re going to make excuse why they didn’t work and give up.
What Does The Definition Of Success Mean To You?
The power to live a successful life is within you. But what is the definition of success, after all?
You should look in the mirror and let yourself be the only judge. Not your reputation, not your wealth, not your standing in a community. Let yourself be the only judge: if you’re living a happy, fulfilling life then you’re successful.
In my FREE e-book “Love your life“I explain just that: how to look into yourself and start living a life that honors who you are.
So now, it’s your choice. Make a decision. Take the challenge. It’s all on you.
We were running out of time before the director and camera guys even finished setting up.
I was the limiting factor in this equation.
Shooting course videos is very taxing on the brain (at least, it's taxing on my brain).
After a few hours of shooting, I start “bonking.”
Bonking is a production term used for people who start messing up their lines and making other mistakes because they are mentally tired.
When someone starts bonking, it's time for a break.
But we didn't have time for breaks.
So I jumped in and started filming the course without taking any breaks.
After the fourteenth video, I thought I was going to pass out.
My mental energy was completely depleted.
Contrary to popular belief, the halfway point is not the breakthrough point when it comes to doing a difficult task.
It's not where things get easier.
Instead, it's where things are the hardest.
The halfway point is the hardest because it's the point at which you have just as much in front of you as you just finished behind you.
The halfway point is the breaking point.
Luckily, I knew the halfway point was going to be hard so instead of giving in, we kept powering through the shoot.
Then, after we shot the twenty-fourth video, something surprising happened…
I suddenly realized we were well passed the twentieth video and were nearly done.
A bolt of energy shot through my body and mind.
We finished the last 5 videos faster than we finished the first 5 videos.
How To Have 240X More Mental Energy
In the 1950s, a Harvard graduate and Johns Hopkins scientist did a series of experiments that tested how long rats could swim in high-sided buckets of circulating water before giving up.
The scientist found that under normal conditions, a rat could swim for an average of 15 minutes before quitting.
But if he took the rats out of the buckets and let them rest briefly at the 15 minute mark, and then put them back into the same buckets, the rats could swim an average of - wait for it - 60 hours.
Yep, 60 hours - 240 times longer.
Of course, this seems to make no sense.
How could these rats swim so much longer during a second session, especially just after swimming as long as they possibly could during the first session?
The scientist concluded that the rats were given hope.
They had a vision of what being saved looked like and they kept swimming for it.
A better conclusion is that the rats were given energy through hope, or through vision.
A rat - with a brain the size of a pea - can push through hopelessness and extend their perseverance by 240 times.
Even after they are already exhausted.
Vision provided the rats with additional resources and willpower to persevere.
Psychological Science journal published a study in agreement stating that willpower - the ability to exercise self-control - is not a finite resource, but rather a reflection of a person's belief about their ability to keep going.
In short, it's all in your head.
If you believe you can't keep going, you'll quit.
You'll wave the white flag of burnout and give up.
And one of the greatest predictors of success is the ability to give up short-term rewards in favor of pushing through challenges towards a bigger goal.
3 Ways To Harness “Light At End Of Tunnel” Energy
Your internal motivation and energy levels have nothing to do with your circumstances and everything to do with your focus.
Were you ever working on a really long and hard project?
Or working really hard to get a job, or to buy a house, or to build a business, and you felt completely de-energized?
Every day, you would have to fight to stay motivated.
Then, one day, something happened that made you realize you were close to finishing.
And as soon as you realized this, a bolt of energy just shot through your body and you found it 10 times easier to get motivated because you knew you were almost done.
This is how people finish marathons.
This is how entrepreneurs sleep 4 hours a night for 2 years as they get their businesses off the ground.
The reason that anyone, including you, me, or the rats from the experiment will feel a rush of energy close to the finish line is because the future is more defined.
The more you define the path in front of you, the more energy you'll have to complete it.
But the reverse is also true: the more undefined your future, or the more others are dictating your future, the more miserable you will be.
If you want to harness “light at end of tunnel” energy, you have to create a focused plan for your future.
Here are 3 ways to harness your “light at end of tunnel” energy…
1. Stop downplaying your vision for other people.
Without a compelling vision that excites you, you will lack direction.
This is the same thing that happens when your vision is too small, or too attainable.
When you downplay your vision to make others feel more comfortable, you give away energy.
If your vision isn't big enough and important enough, your days will be monotonous and passionless.
Like a rat swimming in a bucket, you'll have nothing more than a survival mindset.
You'll do what you can to survive, but you'll never thrive.
Years will pass and you'll go nowhere.
You'll get lazy and settle for a mediocre life and forget all about the goals you were once so energized for.
You'll get in the habit of checking off your meek little daily and weekly to-do lists and calling these checkmarks accomplishments.
You'll sell out to the false prophet of feeling busy.
Think back to when you were a kid… what did you envision for your life?
What did you want to do when your mind was open and your potential was unlimited?
How did you want to change the world when you were graduating high school and had your whole life in front of you?
Do your eyes light up as you imagine this?
Do you remember the excitement you once felt?
When you start to lose focus in life, take a look around at all of the small goals you've settled on and start to replace them with a bigger vision for your life.
When you feel your energy levels drop, surrounding yourself with high achievers, positive motivators, and like-minded mentors will give you the boost you need to finish strong.
Their energy and positive influence will trigger your “light at end of tunnel” energy.
3. Stop trying to fight your own biology.
Willpower is your ability to control your own behavior and it relies exclusively on mental energy.
When you're distracted, your willpower suffers.
When you're tired, your willpower suffers.
Whenever you make a decision, your willpower suffers.
Think of willpower as a kind of instinctual override, a way to interrupt your brain's automatic processing in order to do something else.
If you're hungry and come upon a table of free doughnuts, the primitive part of your brain will process the event and say, “EAT!” But the more advanced decision-making part of your brain will tell you to keep walking and not take the bait.
Willpower is simply your ability to inhibit your brain's natural inclinations. It's your ability to make good decisions.
Willpower is part of your biology - you can't fight it, you can only manage it.
For the rest of the day, your mental energy levels are medium-to-low at best.
The good news is if you get enough sleep, your assets get replenished 100%.
Studies in Sleep Medicine show that the right amount of REM sleep (4-6 cycles) completely restores your mental energy each day.
This means you need to start tracking your energy levels and planning your “light at end of tunnel” moments.
It also means that you can extend your “light at end of tunnel” moments by working on key projects earlier in the day and by getting enough REM sleep.
Remember, energy is your most valuable asset.
This asset depreciates rapidly every day but can be boosted by vision, commitment, and by managing your own biology.
Your internal motivation and energy levels have nothing to do with your circumstances and everything to do with your focus. The energy in the beginning of a new vision is easily acquired but can be depleted as setbacks, failures, and obstacles appear. Without a strong vision and matching mindset, it's easy to burn out and want to quit. Having a defined plan for your future will help you to harness the last burst of energy you need to accomplish your goals.
To learn more about how to avoid mental fatigue, improve motivation and willpower, and to get instant access to exclusive training videos, case studies, insider documents, and my private online network, get on the Escape Plan wait list.
Mistakes are part of everyone's life. What too often happens, though, is that we beat ourselves up. And we start spiraling down.
And once we are trapped in a negative spiral it's hard to get out of it.
So, yes it's difficult, but it's not impossible. And if you learn what you're doing wrong, you realize that you have the power to transform your life.
What Are Mistakes?
Now, it is important to understand that nobody purposely wants to make mistakes.
When we do, we are convinced that we are making the best decision possible. Instead, then, looking back, it turns out to be a mistake.
As spiritual teacher Teal Swan explains, our level of awareness changes, our perspective changes, we learn more information and we realize that it was not the best choice, after all.
But we shouldn't judge ourselves for what we didn't know at the time.
If you didn't think something was the best thing to do at the time, you would not have done it. We make a lot of these choices that we think are best, but that turn out to be mistakes, but the truth still remains that we only make mistakes because we are not aware that they are mistakes at the time.
- Teal Swan
Spiritual teacher
Why We Beat Ourselves Up
When we are children and we make mistakes we are often corrected and criticized. The conclusion we get to is that we are bad and we internalize this belief into adulthood.
The result is that we connect our mistakes with our self- worth by criticizing, blaming ourselves for each mistake.
This hasn't to be the case anymore. Read the next 4 points to completely change the way you look at yourself.
1. Reframe the meaning of mistakes
The key to maintain your self-confidence even when you make mistakes is to change your perspective and reframe the meaning of mistakes.
Instead of focusing on the negative outcome you have to focus on what you learn from each error since it is just an experience that makes you wiser.
It's only thanks to the feedback of mistakes that we get closer and closer to success.
In fact, if you are willing to analyze every mistake, they will tell you what you need to correct each time and, therefore, they'll bring you closer to success.
2. Know that it's who you are that really matters
Let's say you build something great and then circumstances go against you. You don't receive payments you are entitled of, you lose all money revenue, you lose the support of people you care about.
If your character is weak then you start acting as a victim. You start saying that the world is not right and there's nothing you can do about it.
Instead if your character is strong you would be devastated, at first. But only for a little while.
Because then you come to the realization that it's who you are that builds your life.
It's your personality, the value inside of you, not external circumstances. You come to the realization that you can fix your problems, that you can always find a way, that you can start over if you need to.
3. Be part of the solution
We always point our finger against others when something is not the way we want it to be. We watch the world crumble before our eyes and we always think that others are the problem.
Actually we contribute to the problem thinking that it's not our responsibility to resolve it.
So if you don't want to be part of the problem then always focus on being part of the solution.
You decide between being part of the problem or part of the solution in every single moment of your life, in every single decision you face.
So choose wisely: be part of the solution. Because the world needs solutions, not further problems.
4. Don't let negativity get inside of you
You've got to believe in your ideas. Because before anyone else in the world believes it, you have to believe it.
At any moment, even if nobody believes in you, it only takes yourself believing in you to accomplish your goals.
An entire sea of water can't sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship. Similarly, the negativity of the world can't put you down unless you allow it to get inside you.
- Goi Nasu
Take Full Responsibility And Don't Blame Others
It's not what happens that determines the quality of your life. And that's because what happens, happens to about everybody. It's no different. Rather it's how you react that changes everything.
In my FREE e-book “Love your life” I explain just that: how to get out of a negative spiral and start living a life that honors who you are.
So now, starting tomorrow, what are you going to do that will make a change in your life direction? Because if you don't start tomorrow doing something that will make a difference, guess what… It's going to be the same.
Yes, your next five years are going to be just like the last five! Unless, tomorrow, you change it all. Or change a little or change nothing. It's your choice. It's all on you.
If you've been a long time Food Babe Army member you know, I've been investigating Starbucks for a long time and am so happy to report another major victory! After years of hiding the list of ingredients in their drinks … Continued
Mistakes are part of everyone's life. What too often happens, though, is that we beat ourselves up. And we start spiraling down.
And once we are trapped in a negative spiral it's hard to get out of it.
So, yes it's difficult, but it's not impossible. And if you learn what you're doing wrong, you realize that you have the power to transform your life.
What Are Mistakes?
Now, it is important to understand that nobody purposely wants to make mistakes.
When we do, we are convinced that we are making the best decision possible. Instead, then, looking back, it turns out to be a mistake.
As spiritual teacher Teal Swan explains, our level of awareness changes, our perspective changes, we learn more information and we realize that it was not the best choice, after all.
But we shouldn't judge ourselves for what we didn't know at the time.
“Love in a relationship doesn't exist.” How many times people have said that? You hear that again and again from people frustrated about their relationship.
Twin flames and soul mates don't exist, they say. And many of us, by now, are convinced of that.
Why We Believe That Love Is Not Real
Love is not real, that's why it's impossible to find it when you're looking for it. It's like a drug: it makes you feel good but it's addictive.
What people call love is a relationship based on possession, control and fear. They promise to love and honor each other. And often people really believe that they can maintain the promises made.
A few months pass by and the promises are shattered one after the other. Only resentment remains and they hurt each other.
Yes, the couple may even remain together because they're afraid to be alone, afraid of judgement. But where is the flame they called love? They just possess each other: “He's mine”, “She's mine”.
That's why people think that real love doesn't exist.
Perhaps Love Does Exist
Now think about this excerpt from a story by Miguel Ruiz: The Mastery of Love. It's about two people that met and, talking about their stories, explained why they were convinced that love doesn't exist.
They kept talking day after day. What actually happened is that they created an amazing relationship. They respected each other and every little moment made them happy.
There was no envy, jealousy, control or possession. They were living their own lives without being responsible for the other part. The only reason they spent time together was because they had fun and would miss each other when they were alone.
“Maybe this is love, after all” they thought. “Maybe love does exist but it's so different from what poets or religion say, it's so different from what everyone think it is.”
You Are Responsible Of Your Own Happiness
There is a mistake that most of us make. A mistake that in the end happens even in the story above.
We think we can put our happiness in the partner's hands. Happiness never comes from outside of us. Happiness is generated from inside of us.
As soon as we make another person responsible of our happiness the relationship is doomed. In fact, no matter how much we love another person, we don't know what they have in their mind, what their expectations are, what their dreams are.
Find your happiness and keep it in your heart. Don't put it in the hands of the other. The light, the strength of that happiness will radiate and spread to the other people. And with it love as well will be generated. Because, yes, love, twin flames and soul mates do exist.
Now you may ask:“So, love is useless? A love relationship doesn't make us happy?”
But this is not the point. As Miguel Ruiz explains we expect that through a relationship we can receive something we don't have, something we lack. Inevitably we end up disappointed.
Instead, if we enter a relationship without this need, the story would be different and love could spread outside.
So, in short, you have to consider the following 5 elements to really know what is true love and happiness in a solid and lasting romantic relationship.
1. Communication
The power of words holds tremendous amount of power. There is energy behind the words we use. Communication is fundamental…
When you can talk to the one you love for hours then you build a stronger bond, you build a better relationship because you are allowing yourself to surrender to each other. The magic of love happens that way.
2. Appreciation
Don't take people for granted. You should be able to appreciate the one you love just like the first day you met them.
Yes, because with time, people get complacent, they get lazy, they take things for granted so don't show appreciation with one another anymore.
So commit to create that spot once again, to be thankful, to desire to be with the one you love.
3. Passion
You can't buy passion. This is something that has to come from within. When you are tired, sad, disappointed, you feel like you don't want to do anything.
So, passion is generated when you are healthy within yourself, when you have lot of energy, when you are at peace with yourself.
Then your passion extends to the person you are in a relationship with allowing you to create a better relationship.
4. Trust
We have to move past of this idea of ownership, because we don't own anybody. We should love in such a way that loved people feel free.
Once you trust each other you create a better relationship that will thrive. We have to accept each other expression of freedom.
5. Having fun
Finally tap into your inner child. Do silly things together, laugh, smile.
It's like having a tree. You have to water it so that it doesn't wither away, so that the tree touches the sky.
Let your relationship blossom into infinity. Don't take things so seriously with each other all the time.
Love Expands From Within
It is now clear that we have to love ourselves first. Because if we are incapable of finding love in ourselves, it is pointless to search elsewhere.
This concept doesn't apply only to romantic love. It applies to every relationship. It also applies to parenting our children. Because self-love is the root from which everything grows.
In my FREE e-book “Love your life” I explain just that: how to love yourself once again. Because everything starts within.
Love in a relationship doesn't exist." How many times people have said that? You hear that again and again from people frustrated about their relationship.
Twin flames and soul mates don't exist, they say. And many of us, by now, are convinced of that.
Why We Believe That Love Is Not Real
Love is not real, that's why it's impossible to find it when you're looking for it. It's like a drug: it makes you feel good but it's addictive.
What people call love is a relationship based on possession, control and fear. They promise to love and honor each other. And often people really believe that they can maintain the promises made.
A few months pass by and the promises are shattered one after the other. Only resentment remains and they hurt each other.
Without even being aware of it love ends.
Yes, the couple may even remain together because they're afraid to be alone, afraid of judgement. But where is the flame they called love? They just possess each other: "He's mine", "She's mine".
That's why people think that real love doesn't exist.
Introvert or not, your collegiate life can be deeply fulfilling.